Africa

is the theme for today and the rest of this week aparantly. Been up for hours already and not going home any time soon. Now in photoshop creating a pattern for printing later this week. My good friend Jo is giving her class cute cupcakes today all in the spirit of the fifties wich is her theme today. She works as a teacher in hair and makeup. We both take a bus from our town (going in opposite directions) extremely early every morning and then we keep in contact via sms feeling sorry for eachother. It works out really well ;) We often do the same thing in the afternoon when we go home. The university that I'm attending is 1,4 h north from where we live and her school is 1h south/east. Most days I'm gone for 12-14 h, drives my cat insane ;)

Tis is the picture I'm working with today

 I also colored some fabric today, hope it turns out good!

 

I'm old...

Really, we had a small party yesterday to say goodbye to Marcus apartment. It has been very good to us and it deserved it. But today I feel like I'm going to die. I'm so not twenty anymore. School tomorrow, the alarm sounds at 05:00, I'm not ready. I will have to place everything, clothes and stuff, tonight since I'm going to be a zombie tomorrow. Now, food and some Gilmore Girls.

Namaste

Stuck...

...where I am atm. Got a call yesterday from the police telling me that I'm not alowed to go home since my ex has been outside my apartment for 19 hours now. Yay, go team! Things just keeps getting better.

Too much...

And again everything got to be too much and seemed to get way out of hand. My anxiety-attacks are back with full force and the apartment is my own private little hell. Everything happens at the same time... Packing, no place to live, ex fiancé, friends and ALOT of other stuff made me a small, crying, paniced ball in my bed. That's when I decided it was time to go back to Tony and Moa. As soon as I set foot in their house it's like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I am really grateful for that, especially at times like these when even breathing seems like a hughe effort. There is just so much pain. I don't know what to do whit it. It feels like I'm going to shatter in to a thousand pieces. On top of that school starts on monday... Yay for me.

Soon my friends

soon I will sit down and post something a little more "giving". Time just seems to fly by atm and I'm so tired. Soon school will start, there will be some structure and so on. Got some packing done today at least. During this week I will get some more boxes and finish up, except for clothes and kitchen gear ofc since I will have to use them. My mood has improved somewhat, mostly thanks to myself, not the situation but I'm still far from ok. My cat seems to pick up on the whole thing as well, she is really difficult these days. Hopefully that too will change when we finally move and get going with everything.
My friends Tony and Moa are coming home from their trip to Scotland soon, I would like to be able to visit them before school starts, after that I have so little time. If I'm lucky they brought a Scotsman home for me ;)

Anyway, I hope you have a good night, I'm going to watch Ocean's Thirteen and then go to bed.

Namaste

Anger-management

Im so angry atm... Feels like Im going to blow up from the inside. Various reasons, some more than others. I'm tired of always being the one not thought about. Just because I dont scream, yell, make snide remarks or cry all the time it doesnt mean I'm not hurt! It doesn't mean its ok! Mostly I am mad at myself for daring to hope. I've tried this before, why can't I learn this? well... nothing I can do about it, it seems. Im just so disappointed. And to you, the biggest disappointment in a bowl full of tiny ones,  if you know who you are: well played, I really am impressed, I so didnt see it coming. At least some of the things you did before finally makes sense to me now. good luck, its your karma.

musicquiz, lake, park and german vampiremovie

Yesterday me, Jo and Dirt went to Karlshamn for some shopping. On our way home we were to drop of a phone for one of Jo's friends. This friend lived in the middle of nowhere so we had to use a gps. The only problem was that the gps had been out of the country for a while and led us on an adventure not unlike "Wrong turn", there were cornfields everywhere as well so "Children of the corn" wasn't far from our thoughts either. When we finally got there (we turned the gps off) we discovered that she had the most adorable puppies. One of them really bonded with me but Jo made me give it back, it was sad... might have been for the best though since Alma probably would have killed me if I brought a dog home.
Anyway, this mishap led to us being really late for the musicquiz at Puls. We go there every wednesday for musicquiz, bufé and beer, it's a big thing here, packed with people. Last week our team name was: Team Marcus whitout Marcus (since Marcus was working) so this week our team name was: Team Marcus without Marcus with Marcus without Petra feat. Sebastian gueststaring Ola and Åsa. Yeah... I know... But this week something amazing happened!!! We won!!! That never happens! We rock! You should have seen the face of the gamemaster when he read our team name ;) This led to alot of celebrating and after-party and all of that. This morning was not a highpoint in my life I can tell you.

me, hungover on the balcony

When I was well enough to stand me, Ola and Åsa went to Salsjön for a swim. It was fantastic! We stayed for three hours just swimming, drinking coffe, eating watermelon and hanging out. After that I joined Jo, Dirt, Sebastian and Marcus in the park for an hour before going home to Marcus where we watched two movies and ate everything we could find! The first movie was a german vampiremovie Wir sind sie Nacht.... nuff said... don't rent it... The other one was really entertaining Dylan Dog, it had a zombie with a life-crisis need I say more?

Ola in swimming gear

Now it's time for bed since I'm making a cherrytre on the wall in my mothers kitchen tomorrow morning.
Night night ya'll

Alma Vs. Gull

my beautiful town

Mr Sandman, come on!

So now sleep eludes me. It's 03:54 and I'm still awake even if my eyes sting and my overworked mind screams for rest... Sitting here in my purple OnePiece with gato loca in my lap, apparently if I don't sleep, she doesn't either. cute! Still, need sleep now, like hours ago... I don't want to think or feel right now...

The OnePiece

 

Alma (gato loca) when she was a baby

alone

I can't help it, I feel so alone... Now in the light of new things even more so. How am I to do this? Well, as a wise man once told me: This too shall pass...  At least I hope so. On a brighter note I found an apartment to call on, maybe I will get to at least look at it before someone else makes a move on it like with the last apartment...

Now it's time for bed, I leave you with this: If you have someone special in your life, appreciate that! If you have friends that will never leave no matter what, thank your lucky star! If you have both, you should know that you are the luckiest peson in the world! And if you are alone, hopefully, this too shall pass...

at the movies

Today the family (Jo, me, dirt, petra) reunited in Ronneby! Dirt and Jo was tired beyond recognition from the weekend, helping the guys to move (they live in a city three hours from here) and visiting a place called Liseberg wich is kind of like disneyland. When she woke up, Dirt came over, we made some food and watched Men in trees and after we met Jo, Sebastian and Marcus for a coffee at Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde. With a not so small effort we managed to get from there to the car. We drove to Karlskrona (very much laughter and below the belt jokes in the car due to overly tired people) where we met Petra, who had gone in beforehand to get her new tattoo, for a late night movie. As usual when we go places we kind of stuck out of the crowd, being as many as we are, loud, laughing (I could go on forever on that topic) and when the movie started and we realised that no-one was going to sit in the row in front of us we all put our feet up on those chairs. We laughed in the "wrong" places and well, were ourselves! Ha ha ha! I love our group! We toped it all off with a beer at Puls when we got back 23:30. It was a good day! Tomorrow we may be going to Karlshamn, and hopefully I will find an apartment or at least some boxes!

Night night ya'll